👩⚖️WTF Geneva 1: United Nations or United Nonsense?...
How Iran, Francesca Albanese, and the UN Form the Axis of WTF in 2025
By The WTF Foreign Desk | July 2025
👁️🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it.
What’s on the absurdity menu this time?
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Iran’s masterclass in soft-power sabotage,
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Francesca Albanese’s cosplay as a human rights lawyer,
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The UN’s chronic allergic reaction to facts, Jews, and anything that smells like accountability.
Let’s dive into the pool of diplomatic dysfunction. Bring floaties — there’s a lot of hot air.
Iran at the UN: Welcome to the Mullahs’ Met Gala
When Iran shows up to the United Nations, it’s not to discuss nuclear compliance. It’s to deliver TED Talks on “Dialogue Among Civilizations” while simultaneously funding drone strikes, arresting women for dancing, and sending cyber-salam to UK power grids.
Iran’s diplomats in New York now double as narrative DJs — remixing “Death to America” with “Let’s Cooperate on Sustainability Goals.”
The WTF: Tehran is currently under more sanctions than a Russian arms dealer in a Cuban missile silo, but thanks to the UN’s infinite forgiveness plan, Iran still chairs several human rights panels. Because nothing says “equality” like a regime executing teenagers while co-authoring child protection frameworks.
Cyber, Sanctions & Sadness: The UK and EU Get a Hackergram
Over in Europe, MI5 has uncovered Iranian-linked plots, suspect charities, and cyberattacks targeting everything from Parliament emails to Bake Off servers (probably). The EU, doing what it does best, has responded with strongly worded frowns and... renewable energy incentives.
In retaliation, Iran labeled sanctions as “economic terrorism,” a term usually reserved for actual acts of, well, terrorism. That’s right — to the Ayatollahs, cutting off access to Mercedes parts is genocide, but funding Hamas is philanthropy.
Qatar’s Al Jazeera: The Middle East’s Favorite Echo Chamber
Let’s not forget the unofficial PR arm of Tehran, Al Jazeera. Their Arabic edition makes MSNBC look like The Wall Street Journal during Reagan’s funeral. With Qatar funding and Iranian influence, Al Jazeera’s coverage of regional “resistance” is so glowing it requires SPF 50.
Iran doesn’t need CNN — it has Doha. And unlike Tehran’s nuclear sites, their narrative pipelines remain uninspected.
Francesca Albanese: The UN’s Human Rights Performance Artist
Now entering the stage, our main attraction: Francesca Albanese, the UN Special Rapporteur on the “Occupied Palestinian Territories” — a job title as long as her reports and half as useful.
Francesca, a walking TEDx conference on grievance, recently accused Israel of “the cruelest genocide in modern history,” all while omitting Hamas, Hezbollah, and the concept of truth.
Her 2025 magnum opus, “From Economy of Occupation to Economy of Genocide,” reads like if BuzzFeed and QAnon co-wrote a policy paper. Featuring 68 uses of the word “genocide,” 47 mentions of “apartheid,” and zero acknowledgment of the 1,200 Jews murdered on October 7, 2023 — it’s basically a Hamas press release with endnotes.
The U.S. Mission to the UN: “Fire This Clown. Respectfully.”
President Trump’s administration, having returned from four years of silence under the Biden mime act, has now gone full MAGA on Geneva’s circus.
In a scorched-earth statement, the U.S. Mission demanded Francesca’s firing, calling her correspondence “threatening,” her legal logic “flawed,” and her résumé “fictional.” Turns out, she’s not even a licensed lawyer. Somewhere, Elle Woods is screaming.
The U.S. warned Guterres: “Ignore this, and the next UN budget will be delivered in Monopoly money.”
Why Does the UN Still Tolerate Her?
Because... Geneva.
Despite opposition from the U.S., France, Germany, and the entire fraternity of people who’ve read a book, Francesca’s mandate was renewed in April 2025. Apparently, in UN HR, antisemitism is just a “diversity of perspective.”
And António Guterres? The UN Secretary-General reportedly called Albanese a “horrible person” in a private conversation — but publicly he cited “independence of mandates” and went back to writing passive-aggressive tweets about Israel.
Israel, Sanity, and That Thing Called Facts
Meanwhile, Israel boycotts the Geneva Human Rights Kabuki Theater. Ambassador Daniel Meron issued a blistering rebuke, calling Albanese a propagandist who “systematically omits Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, and reality.”
Even Macron, yes French Macron, called the October 7 massacre “the worst antisemitic attack of the century.” Albanese’s response? “They weren’t killed because they were Jews. They were killed for resisting.” Resisting what — existing?
The Trump Doctrine: “Stop Paying These Morons”
President Trump, enjoying Diet Coke and chaos, has ordered a full review of UN funding. Sources say he’s considering launching a new alternative: “League of America-First Nations (LAFN),” featuring countries that know what a woman is and think terrorism is bad.
Said Trump:
“If the UN wants a rapporteur for terrorism denial, they can pay her with Iranian rials and expired hummus coupons.”
Comments Section: Where Reason Lives
“At this point, Francesca should just move to Tehran and open a halal boutique.”“Calling everything genocide makes real genocides invisible. Next she’ll accuse IHOP of ethnic cleansing.”“I’d rather trust an AI chatbot trained on 4chan than the UN’s Geneva crew.”“Trump 2025: Make Diplomacy Un-Woke Again.”
Final Thought: United Nonsense International
The UN, in 2025, is not a peacekeeping institution — it’s a group therapy session for failed states and their intellectual interns. Between Iran’s cyber-thuggery, Francesca’s fantasyland, and Qatar’s propaganda pipelines, Geneva has become the capital of performative diplomacy.
If sanity were a voting bloc at the UN, it wouldn’t get quorum.
But don’t worry. President Trump is watching. And if Francesca keeps it up, she may be promoted… to TikTok influencer for the Taliban.
👁️🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Which, coincidentally, is also the UN’s strategic plan for 2025.
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