🪖From Microloans to Mullahdom: WTF Is Muhammad Yunus Doing in Dhaka?...

WTF Is Happening in Bangladesh?

The July Charter & the Rise of Sheikh Khomeini: Is Muhammad Yunus Planning a Bangla Revolution... or Just a Coup in Flip-Flops?


Dhaka to Dystopia: A Prelude

Once celebrated for lifting millions out of poverty through microfinance, Muhammad Yunus now appears less interested in banking on women’s empowerment and more in channeling his inner Ayatollah. If reports are to be believed, Yunus is now leading Bangladesh not into a Nobel future—but into a 1980s Tehran-themed escape room with no exits, no elections, and a brand-new paramilitary force that sounds suspiciously like a Netflix villain unit: the Islamic Revolutionary Army (IRA). Nope, not that IRA. This one comes with more turbans and less Irish whiskey.

The “Londongate Conspiracy”

According to leaks that have floated out like sewage from a broken pipe, the now-infamous June 13 meeting in London brought together Bangladesh’s most exiled, most indicted, and least elected minds. Tarique Rahman, the perennial crown prince of the BNP diaspora (currently running his political career from a couch in West London), reportedly greenlit Yunus’s proposal to suspend elections “until further notice.” In Bangladesh, that phrase roughly translates to “until I die or someone exiles me again.”

Their secret pact reportedly includes:

  • Prosecuting President Shahabuddin and Army Chief General Waker for “crimes against humanity”

  • Abolishing the Constitution (which is frankly the Bangladeshi national pastime)

  • Canceling all elections, indefinitely

  • Forming a Revolutionary Government, Khomeini-style, complete with clerical approval, but halal certified

The only things missing from the agenda were a beard-growing contest and a missile parade.


Who Is Muhammad Yunus Now?

The man once dubbed “Banker to the Poor” has apparently traded in his Nobel medallion for a metaphorical turban. Where once he helped women sell goats, now he seeks to lead a theocratic regime that cancels elections, purges the military, and prosecutes anyone who doesn’t share his newfound vision of revolution wrapped in Islamic robes.

Analysts are calling it:

  • "A microfinance mullah makeover"

  • "The startup bro who went full Ayatollah"

  • "From Grameen to Green Crescent Caliphate"

Either way, it’s a long fall from Stockholm to Londongate.


Dissolving the Military? Bold Move, Sheikh.

The so-called “July Charter” reportedly outlines a plan to dismantle Bangladesh’s armed forces, dismiss the Chief of Army Staff, and replace the structure with a paramilitary loyal only to Yunus’s Revolutionary Government—named, with absolutely zero irony, the Islamic Revolutionary Army (IRA). That’s right: a Nobel laureate wants to banish the military and replace it with an ideologically extreme militia while simultaneously calling for democratic values.

You can’t make this up. But someone did. Likely in that London hotel.


Meanwhile, General Waker Uz Zaman Has Entered the Chat… Sort Of.

Let’s talk about the man who was supposed to be the adult in the room.

Back in August 2024, after the fall of Sheikh Hasina’s government, General Waker appeared on national television and gave a speech so inspiring that it was printed on commemorative mugs. He promised elections, constitutional order, and to "serve the republic."

And then… he vanished into strategic silence.

Ten months later, his silence is louder than a dhaka traffic jam. No statements. No pushback. No pressers. Just a whole lot of shoulder-shrugging while Bangladesh descends into meme-level authoritarianism.

To be fair, perhaps he’s not complicit. Just… asleep? Or still buffering? Or maybe Yunus muted him on WhatsApp.


What’s at Stake?

Let’s not downplay the implications. If the Yunus Charter moves forward, Bangladesh could see:

  • Militia rule replacing the military

  • Cleric-backed governance, modeled on Iran’s Velayat-e-Faqih

  • Persecution of dissenters, media, and secular voices

  • Cross-border radicalization, especially into India’s vulnerable northeastern states

  • Diaspora weaponization, with sleeper agents or recruiters infiltrating South Asian communities abroad

  • Bangladesh turning into a strategic proxy in the larger Sunni vs. Shia geopolitical food fight

India should be on high alert. Nepal should stop meditating and start monitoring. And the UN? Should probably wake up from its nap and send more than strongly worded letters.


WTF is the “Islamic Revolutionary Army” of Bangladesh?

Seriously, what is it? A rebranded Rapid Action Battalion with Islamic slogans? Or an Iranian copycat built with Bengali subtitles?

Reportedly:

  • The new force will be under direct ideological command, not professional military leadership

  • Cadres will be drawn from Islamist groups, radical clerics, and Yunus-aligned youth militias

  • Their first task: secure Yunus’s political transformation, suppress dissent, and purge the police and army of “secular loyalists”

So basically, a turbanned SWAT team that answers to no constitution, no court, and no constitutionally sane idea.


International Reactions: Crickets & Confusion

Western governments—especially the Nobel Peace Prize alumni committee—are reportedly having collective panic attacks. How does a man they once invited to Davos, TED, and Oprah suddenly become the architect of South Asia’s first 21st-century Khomeinist regime?

Meanwhile, global media is caught between disbelief and apathy. New York Times wants a verified source, but no one’s answering phones in Dhaka. The BBC is too busy analyzing TikTok’s influence on democracy. And Al Jazeera is debating whether to cover it seriously or frame it as a spiritual awakening.


WTF Comments Section (From Our Imaginary Blog)

Bangladeshi Diaspora Auntie: “Yunus uncle was supposed to fight poverty, not democracy!”

Indian Defense Analyst: “If Bangladesh gets an IRGC-style militia, the Northeast becomes the new Gaza.”

Iranian Twitter Refugee: “We already did this cosplay in 1979. Don’t.”

Woke Harvard Undergrad: “Actually, replacing militaries with grassroots forces is anti-colonial praxis...”

Anonymous ex-Grameen Bank intern: “I once fetched Yunus sir’s coffee. I knew then... he was a Bond villain in disguise.”


The Big Picture: From Dhaka to Disaster?

Let’s not sugarcoat this: Bangladesh is teetering on the edge of a transformation that could shake South Asia like a Category 5 cyclone of radicalism, repression, and religious-political cosplay.

Yunus’s Revolutionary Government isn’t just another chapter in Bangla politics—it’s a regional nightmare waiting to metastasize. With Iranian aesthetics, Pakistani deniability, and Taliban-adjacent foot soldiers, the IRA (no, not that IRA) could quickly become South Asia’s new Frankenstein militia.

And if General Waker doesn’t wake up soon? The Nobel Peace laureate might just become Bangladesh’s Supreme Leader 2.0—robe, revolution, and all.


TL;DR Recap

  • Muhammad Yunus is reportedly planning a July Charter to cancel elections and install a revolutionary regime

  • The military may be dismantled and replaced with the Islamic Revolutionary Army

  • BNP is backing him, because why not?

  • General Waker is missing, mute, or meditating

  • The international community is... distracted

  • And South Asia may soon have a second Iran—with a distinctly Bengali accent


WTF asks

How many Nobel Prizes does it take to start a theocracy?

Apparently… just one.

Stay tuned. Or better yet—stay awake.

👁️‍🗨️ This Blog uses WTF strictly in the context of: Weird, True & Freaky. Not as profanity. Unless the Ayatollahs start tweeting it.

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