🎯Hizb ut-Tahrir Recruitment Ads: Ads So Bad Even Terrorists Would Swipe Left!...

Middle Ages Calling: Careers at Hizb ut-Tahrir, Like LinkedIn, But for Destroying Civilizations

By: South Asia Affairs Desk | April 2025

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Walls That Whisper Treason

Imagine strolling through Dhaka’s chaotic, vibrant streets.

Rickshaws honk, vendors scream, and somewhere between a biryani stall and a barber shop, you notice something odd:

A brand-new poster — crisp, bold — politely inviting the Bangladesh Army to stage a coup d'état.

Signed, of course, by Hizb ut-Tahrir (HT) — a banned Islamist organization best known for its love of medieval governance models and complete disdain for democracy, modernity, and basic sanity.

You blink.

You double-check.

No, you're not hallucinating.

It’s everywhere.

How Did We Get Here? (Spoiler: Years of Looking the Other Way)

The story isn’t new.

Hizb ut-Tahrir has been illegally active in Bangladesh for over a decade, banned in 2009 when the government realized that “Hey, these guys don’t believe non-Muslims should have voting rights!” — a realization that apparently took seven full years of squinting very hard.

But despite the ban:

• HT rallies have happened in broad daylight.

• HT posters have been plastered across major cities.

• HT members have been operating across universities and — disturbingly — parts of the military.

And each time, the authorities have responded with the speed and enthusiasm of a three-toed sloth on a tranquilizer.

Meanwhile, average Bangladeshis are left wondering:

If a banned terror group can print posters and demand coups in public, is it even really banned?

The Current Circus: New Government, Same Old Blindness

With Sheikh Hasina gone after the Gen-Z Revolution, Bangladesh's new interim government under Muhammad Yunus promised transparency, stability, and order.

Instead, what Dhaka got is:

• Posters glorifying Osama bin Laden.

• Crowds casually waving ISIS flags downtown.

• Hizb ut-Tahrir brazenly calling for the military to overthrow a civilian government... again.

• Security forces who either can't see, won't see, or see but quietly applaud.

It’s like expecting a fresh start and waking up inside a sequel to the worst horror movie franchise — "Taliban Lite: Dhaka Drift."

The Strange Case of the Missing Arrests

Under Hasina, millions faced politically motivated trials — activists, students, grandmothers who posted memes...

But somehow, in all this zealous crackdown:

• HT members were invisible.

• HT processions marched with impunity.

• HT recruiters smiled confidently outside public universities.

Now, under Yunus’s interim administration, the trend continues:

HT posters bloom across Dhaka’s walls like springtime flowers, and no one seems to be holding the weedkiller.

The government claims confusion:

“We don’t know who’s putting up these posters.”

Which is strange because:

• Dhaka’s every street corner has a CCTV camera.

• Posters are professionally printed (not scribbled with crayons).

• The group literally signs its name on them.

It’s like saying you can't catch a bank robber who leaves his business card at the crime scene.

HT’s Dangerous Game: Coup-by-Stealth

Hizb ut-Tahrir isn’t interested in democracy.

It doesn’t care about elections, constitutions, or basic rights.

Its model of governance is simple:

• One religion.

• One caliph.

• No voting (unless you're complaining about the "misapplication of Islam").

If that sounds eerily close to the Taliban’s governance manual — congratulations, you’re paying attention.

HT’s ultimate plan?

Not some slow, incremental cultural coup.

They want the Bangladesh Army to immediately seize power and impose a medieval caliphate — preferably by Friday afternoon, if schedules permit.

And history shows they’ve tried this elsewhere:

• Jordan

• Syria

• Egypt

• Tunisia

• Iraq

All places where the “HT Coup Starter Kit™” has been taken very seriously — and very violently.

The Military’s Dilemma: Is There an Enemy Within?

One chilling possibility is that HT sympathizers have already penetrated parts of Bangladesh’s security forces.

It makes perfect sense:

• If your whole strategy is to stage a coup, you recruit from within the barracks.

• You preach the "higher Islamic duty" to junior officers.

• You plant sleeper cells.

• You wait.

Today’s friendly-looking lieutenant could be tomorrow’s "Commander of the Faithful."

Bangladesh’s Directorate General of Forces Intelligence (DGFI) must know this.

If they don’t, it’s dereliction of duty.

If they do and aren't acting, it’s a silent ticking bomb.

Either way, it’s terrifying.

The Yunus Government: Shuffling Papers While Rome Burns

Thus far, Muhammad Yunus and his transitional ministers have responded to the Hizb ut-Tahrir threat with:

• Public bewilderment.

• Long silences.

• Occasional platitudes about “monitoring the situation closely.”

Translation: Nothing.

Meanwhile, HT posters multiply faster than conspiracy theories on Facebook, and the organization’s demands grow bolder.

Yunus needs to understand:

• This isn’t just a fringe annoyance.

• It’s an existential threat to Bangladesh’s democratic survival.

The longer the government fiddles, the higher the risk that one day, a coup won’t just be a slogan on a wall — it will be tanks rolling down Gulshan Avenue.

A Final Word of Caution

Bangladesh today stands at a delicate crossroads:

• On one side: Hope for democratic renewal, freedom, and national rebuilding after decades of political repression.

• On the other: The dark pull of extremism, instability, and totalitarianism dressed in religious slogans.

Fighting Hizb ut-Tahrir isn't just about peeling off posters.

It’s about affirming that Bangladesh belongs to all its citizens — Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Christians — and that no ideology, no matter how loud, can take that away.

Muhammad Yunus must move fast.

Bangladeshis deserve a country where the walls whisper dreams — not threats.

Here’s your bonus funny-satirical list...

New Hizb ut-Tahrir Recruitment Ads That Totally Miss the Point

1. "Join Hizb ut-Tahrir: Because Who Needs Netflix When You Can Have Never-Ending Lectures on Sharia Law?"

• Binge-watching is haram.

• Binge-reading 1,000-year-old theological disputes? Mandatory!

Special offer:

First 100 recruits get a free 800-page pamphlet on why smiling too much is Western corruption!

2. "Tired of Democracy? So Are We!"

• Voting? Gross.

• Freedom of speech? Sounds exhausting.

• Minorities having rights? HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sign up today and enjoy the medieval governance package:

• Zero elections.

• 100% more public flogging.

• Leaders who think Wi-Fi is black magic.

3. "Bring Your Friends! (Mandatory. Or Else.)"

• Our leadership believes in "viral marketing" — the kind where if you don’t bring three more recruits, you get lovingly "re-educated."

Bonus points:

Recruits who successfully brainwash their cousins get a complimentary angry beard comb.

4. "Career Paths at Hizb ut-Tahrir: Where 'Middle Manager' Means Leading a Revolutionary Cell"

• Tired of dead-end jobs?

• Want to replace your PowerPoint presentations with Power-Over-The-People fantasies?

At HT, you’ll finally find a workplace where:

• Annual reviews involve loyalty tests.

• Promotions are based on how many secular books you can burn in one afternoon.

5. "Warning: Side Effects of Joining Hizb ut-Tahrir May Include..."

• Chronic outrage.

• Aversion to logic.

• Inability to enjoy basic human activities like music, art, or laughter.

• Sudden fascination with walls and posters.

Consult your conscience before joining.

(If symptoms persist, please seek actual education.)

Final Tagline:

"Hizb ut-Tahrir: Making the 12th Century Great Again!"